I was sitting at a conference about 18 months ago next to a colleague whom I think the world of, Tom Compernolle, the guy knows Retail Grocery like nobody else. David Nour, author of Relationship Economics, was speaking to this group of consulting partners and directors about how you develop real professional relationships that, in turn, lead to your own success. Tom leaned over to me and said “I know all this stuff”. I just beamed…because I had just left a more in depth workshop led by Nour where he threw in this little phrase that has become my anthem, “It’s not what you know, it’s what you do.”
If I had a nickel (okay…maybe a quarter) for every time somebody told me “I know this stuff”, or “this is intuitive”, or “this is common sense”, I would be sitting in a lovely, mountainside cottage with my dog happily chasing squirrels instead of barking maniacally at the UPS driver, the Fed Ex guy, the Mailman, and every nanny strolling by w/a stroller (read: peace, tranquility, and good will towards all men and women kind…and sorry to all my squirrel followers).
This statement, “it’s not what you know it’s what you do”, in its simplicity, directness, and ability to shut-up the naysayers of Change Management, has given me a whole new outlook on my chosen career. I know you know this…you’re not stupid or you wouldn’t have gotten this far in your respective organization…but are you doing it?
Everybody knows this stuff, right? You know you need communications, but are you insuring that communications are strategic, targeting the correct stakeholders, disseminated in a fashion that has the highest impact, and most importantly coming from the correct leaders? And, please…don’t even get me started on so-called newsletters.
You understand the need to model the correct behavior changes, but have you enlisted your management spine to demonstrate new behaviors that are essential for a successful transformation? Are you acknowledging and rewarding the new behaviors…have you even identified what they are?
You know the other stuff too, the leadership challenge for your sponsor, the stakeholders, the organization alignment…you know it…but are you doing it?
I propose a little more “do” in 2010!
Musings about my daily comings and goings, observations, and the inane things that cross my path.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Is it better to be liked or respected?
Naturally we all hope that the two are not mutually exclusive, but I received an email from one of my most liked and respected colleagues today because he was reminded of some advice I had once given him.
On a particularly grueling day of project management, my colleague was bemoaning the fact that nobody on this project seemed to “like” him…he wasn’t getting the same connections with his team or staff that had become the norm for him. He felt like he was constantly in a position of mandating and governing (no McPun intended) instead of leading and supporting in the fashion of collegiality he was used to.
I reached way back to the beginning of my career and told him what my then Sr. Manager told me, “If you like me, then I’m not doing my job!”
First let me tell you that I did in fact like this Sr. Manager a lot (hence why he could get away w/the tongue in cheek remark), but I got what he was saying. Sometimes somebody has to be the bad guy, the one who keeps everybody honest, the one who says we have to work late to get this done, the one who cracks the proverbial whip.
Did I stop liking my Sr. Manager? Yes…and I hurled curses at him in the mirror of the ladies’ room when I missed Melrose Place that night (look, this was a long time ago and TiVo was yet a glint in somebody’s eye). Did I keep hating him? Of course not, because he had my respect; I respected the fact that he stayed right there at the office with me until we finished; he acknowledged and praised the work; and more importantly, he bought me a beer that Friday at our weekly happy hour!
So why did I respect this Manager? Because he did his job in inspiring and rewarding me. He did all that he could to enable me to get the job done, brought lunch in, cheered as mini milestones were met, gave me and my team the attention that we needed to feel that we were responsible for the success of an important endeavor for the company, and he didn’t accept any excuses for our not being successful.
The further up the food chain that you get the smaller and smaller your circle of “friends” becomes. I don’t mean your network or acquaintances…I’m talking about the guys (and gals) that you grab a beer with and can trust with telling exactly how your day went. It’s a very careful balance to maintain a work camaraderie that makes for a productive, high performing team and not get to personally involved where you can’t easily put on the “leader hat” and get down to brass tacks.
Being the boss can be uncomfortable sometimes, and being unpopular because you make unpopular decisions is tough. But at the end of the day, when somebody needs to get tough or take a hard line then as a leader you have to step up. Once you’ve led people to success (even through what may seem an ugly road), you gain that respect, and I’ve always found it’s really hard to dislike someone whom you respect.
On a particularly grueling day of project management, my colleague was bemoaning the fact that nobody on this project seemed to “like” him…he wasn’t getting the same connections with his team or staff that had become the norm for him. He felt like he was constantly in a position of mandating and governing (no McPun intended) instead of leading and supporting in the fashion of collegiality he was used to.
I reached way back to the beginning of my career and told him what my then Sr. Manager told me, “If you like me, then I’m not doing my job!”
First let me tell you that I did in fact like this Sr. Manager a lot (hence why he could get away w/the tongue in cheek remark), but I got what he was saying. Sometimes somebody has to be the bad guy, the one who keeps everybody honest, the one who says we have to work late to get this done, the one who cracks the proverbial whip.
Did I stop liking my Sr. Manager? Yes…and I hurled curses at him in the mirror of the ladies’ room when I missed Melrose Place that night (look, this was a long time ago and TiVo was yet a glint in somebody’s eye). Did I keep hating him? Of course not, because he had my respect; I respected the fact that he stayed right there at the office with me until we finished; he acknowledged and praised the work; and more importantly, he bought me a beer that Friday at our weekly happy hour!
So why did I respect this Manager? Because he did his job in inspiring and rewarding me. He did all that he could to enable me to get the job done, brought lunch in, cheered as mini milestones were met, gave me and my team the attention that we needed to feel that we were responsible for the success of an important endeavor for the company, and he didn’t accept any excuses for our not being successful.
The further up the food chain that you get the smaller and smaller your circle of “friends” becomes. I don’t mean your network or acquaintances…I’m talking about the guys (and gals) that you grab a beer with and can trust with telling exactly how your day went. It’s a very careful balance to maintain a work camaraderie that makes for a productive, high performing team and not get to personally involved where you can’t easily put on the “leader hat” and get down to brass tacks.
Being the boss can be uncomfortable sometimes, and being unpopular because you make unpopular decisions is tough. But at the end of the day, when somebody needs to get tough or take a hard line then as a leader you have to step up. Once you’ve led people to success (even through what may seem an ugly road), you gain that respect, and I’ve always found it’s really hard to dislike someone whom you respect.